Faux Pas After Faux Pas

Yes, I've made some faux pas. However, before I go into that shpeel, I need to tell you more about my friend the bathroom cockroach. As of this week, there have been two more sightings. I'm starting to think it charming. The first time this week, maybe it was yesterday, or sometime the day before, or heck, maybe the day before that, I open the door and take a step into the toilette and out runs the cockroach! Like, "I'm blowing the mop stand." Fine with me! But just now (ok, a few minutes ago), I step into the bathroom, and by "step into the bathroom," I mean see the cockroach and step on it without realizing that my panic sensors aren't working. I move my foot and the bug kind of makes a zig-zag line at first wanting to get out, but then deciding that living under the mop isn't so bad after all. I swear to god that thing... I don't even know. I'm still not sure it's a cockroach. It has the same rusty brown coloring... It's just smaller and has more (maybe the same amount of) phalanges.

Faux Pas #1: It was probably the first or second week here, and I had an innocent question to ask my host mom. So I go upstairs and to her room where she's sitting on her bed reading some papers. I say hello, while at the same time taking a step into her room - at which point she pitched a fit. Understandably, because (as she explained to me) if she were to be naked or something that wouldn't be a favorable situation. So, in the same case the next time, I'm to stand in the hall and knock on the door or frame of the door and call for her. It wasn't such a big deal, I just think I startled her.

Last weekend we had some family friends visiting with their infant boy child (boy child horror story to follow), but when they actually came I forgot we were expecting them. When I got home from school or doing whatever, I made to take a nap. And as far as I knew nobody was home. But then I started to hear voices and creaking around. So then I started to make noise and creak around. Maybe the thief would silently leave if they suspected someone in the house. Then the thief came downstairs, and they weren't alone! And then they popped their heads in the room and I realized what was happening so we said our little hellos and they went on their way.

Faux Pas #2: Later that day when everyone was home, I was downstairs and invited by my host brother to have tea. I should have gone, but really sometimes I don't understand these cues of etiquette. So I passed and minded my business. Then, one of the family friends, the father, the guest of the weekend, actually comes downstairs, outside my room, and asks if I want tea. Surely I replied yes, and apologized for not coming sooner? Nope. Nobody said anything but next time I'm going upstairs for tea.

Faux Pas #3: Don't put your grubby fingers on the cheese. No-brainer, right? No! I don't even care, that cheese is awfully hard to cut, and I don't come from a country full of experienced cheese cutters and eaters! This happened after dinner one night with the weekend guests and I was struggling, and after I had my fingers all over the cheese my host mom sternly told me what was what so I just passed the cheese and knife to her. Humph.

Let me tell you a little about this visiting family. There was a father, pregnant mother, and young toddler boy. The father was originally from Bangladesh but moved to France as a child. He was quite nice, and taught me how to play MahJong one night with Marie Emmanuelle, Fréd, and his wife. The wife... well the wife I warmed up to. She ended up being nice but there's just something about a pregnant woman I don't like. 1. They're prone to hormonal sass. 2. There's a baby in the belly and therefore the attention isn't on me. Also, I'm not really a child person. What do you say to a child? "Hey how's it going? Man, the economy really sucks right now" isn't a popular way of getting to know a rugrat. We have nothing in common.

All in all, though, they were enjoyable. Yes the child could be obnoxious, but he was also pretty cute. Adults can be cute too. What exactly do I mean? Well, two meals in a row Fréd tied his napkin around his neck like it was no big deal, showing the child that this is how we eat! I mean, the kid had a bib... didn't everyone? Little did I know that he was placating the little one... building up a good rapport. What do I mean? Well at some point I was downstairs and all of a sudden I heard screaming from the kid upstairs. Fréd the surgeon was performing an at-home circumcision. Yes folks, this nonnewborn was getting mutilated within the reach of the ability to create a memory. In the house. In the bathroom. I didn't really know this until afterward and I put the pieces together. Shall we?

• Fréd's surgeries deal with things like that, and prostates, and reproductive health.
• The night before, when they were about to change the toddler's diaper the dad was talking to my host dad like "Oh, did you want to check... everything out?" Here I thought maybe the kid had just had his operation.
• Next day. Child screaming upstairs.
• A little after, sitting on the couch watching TV, Marie Emmanuelle now holding the kid in her lap, who has a binky in his mouth and wet eyelashes. Fréd comes and sits down and is petting the child's small hand with his finger. The kid is unresponsive. Marie says something about him not wanting to reconcile.
• BAM. CIRCUMCISION HAPPENED. IN THE HOUSE.

The end.

Four Paws

Actually, Faux Pas #4: Dinner in 10 minutes means 10 minutes. It's not a restaurant. As I was told last night.